Ask Professor Wordsmith

When a writer fails to do this, the reader becomes aware of the writer’s presence in the script.  This is something to be avoided.  The reader must care about the story and the characters, and never think of the writer.  You lose this invisibility when you use phrases like we see, we hear, we follow, etc.  The we refers to the writer.  It reminds us that you are hovering over this script, and it becomes a disconnect between the reader and the story/characters.

Another way that the writer loses his/her invisibility--when you try to impress the reader with your three-dollar words.  You don't need complex words to suggest that yours is a sparkling vocabulary.   Use words that intelligently tell the story but not ones that will send the reader to the nearest dictionary to find out its meaning.  When a reader comes across one of these words, a flag goes up.  It's a speed bump.  It says:  "Aren't you impressed with the big word I just used?"

A reader should never think about the writer.  A reader should only think about your story.  Keep it simple.

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As I read client scripts, I notice that many writers seem confused about formatting telephone conversations.  Some will use the (O.S.) off-screen designation after the name of the character whose voice is heard but who is not seen.  This creates a bland, uneventful one-sided conversation.  Not very interesting for viewers.

Next time, use the INTERCUT device.  It allows the camera to cut between speakers for a more moving and natural conversation.  It looks like this:

 INT.  TIM’S APARTMENT – DAY

 Tim picks up the receiver and dials the phone.

 INT.  SHANE’S OFFICE – DAY

 Shane grabs the RINGING phone.

                                                         SHANE:

                                    Hello.

INTERCUT:  TIM IN HIS APARTMENT // SHANE IN HIS OFFICE

Then you can just toggle between Tim and Shane and the camera will follow.  It is much better than the alternative.

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If someone told you that you could only buy two books on the art of screenwriting, which ones would you choose?

In my opinion, there are only two choices:  Syd Field's:  Screenplay: The Foundations of Screenwriting, and Dave Trottier's The Screenwriter's Bible:  A Complete Guide to Writing, Formatting, and Selling Your Script.

Syd Field's book wasn't the first book on screenwriting that I had read, but it should have been.  It was by far the best.  It opened my eyes to the craft.  After reading it, I simply got it.  No on does a better job of explaining the three-act structure.  No one can better explain the importance of plot points in a script.  But I'm just scratching the surface.  This book has been updated multiple times.  It keeps getting better.  It is simply the best book on the subject of screenwriting on the market.  And the only one you'll ever need.

Dave Trottier's book concentrates on screenplay formatting--which seems to be a lost art.  I read and edit a lot of screenplays.  If more aspiring writers would read this book, they wouldn't need people like me.  I refer to it at least once a week.  Dave simply answers any and all questions regarding script formatting.  It is a must read.

Both books are reasonably priced and are available in paperback.  Don't embark on a screenwriting career without reading these time-tested winners.

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Virtually never.  Most screenwriting software programs default to CONTINUED’s at the top and bottom of each page.  The first thing you need to do is to cancel that command.  Agents, managers, producers, studio analysts—none of them want to see the CONTINUED’s at the top and bottom of each page.  I once had an agent who had requested one of my screenplays say to me:  “Your script doesn’t have all those damn CONTINUED’s on every page, does it?”  Enough said.

There is another CONTD. that is becoming less and less popular.  This one follows the character name when the same character speaks twice in a row or more.  I have begun eliminating these, and I recommend that you do the same.  They just muddy up the page.  No one will miss them.  And if you happen to leave them in, and your script is being read by someone who really doesn’t care for them, it’s one more strike against you. 

There is only one time when the CONTD. is acceptable.  This is when your character is speaking near the bottom of the page and his/her dialogue is continued onto the next page.  In this case, the screenwriting software will insert a MORE at the bottom of the page, and will then insert a CONTD. next to the character name at the top of the following page.  That one’s okay.

John Madormo

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Minshu:

It is true.  Agents, managers, and producers would prefer seeing a unique description of your script rather than a comparison to a previously-made film.  But sometimes it is fine to do so if your story offers a new angle to an existing premise.  When you are able to explain the theme of your script by suggesting that it is a hybrid of two other films (e.g., "Jaws" Meets "Vertigo"), you can create a thought-provoking concept that may just interest the reader enough to request your script. 

As far as what to include in a query letter, there really is no formula.  You need to convince the reader that you have created something fresh and unique and marketable.  You may want to open the letter with your logline (1-3 short sentences).  In the next paragraph, in narrative form, simply tell the story as if you were chatting with a friend.  There is no need to provide the specific details of the resolution.  Just indicate informally whether your hero succeeds or fails.  After that, a short personal history can help--your occupation (if your expertise in some area has contributed to the accuracy of the story), any placements in contests, any options, any other notable achievements, etc.  Then close with your contact info. 

I hope this helps.  And good luck.

John Madormo

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